Ask Stoics source guide · Stoicism and Emotions
Stoicism and Self-Pity
Self-pity can be a powerful emotion, often arising from perceived misfortunes or hardships. Stoicism offers a framework for understanding and navigating such feelings, distinguishing between what is truly within our control and what is not. It encourages a rational assessment of circumstances rather than an emotional surrender to them. By focusing on our rational faculty, we can avoid the pitfalls of self-pity and maintain our human dignity, even in challenging times. This approach helps us to recognize that external events do not inherently define our inner state or worth.
On this page you will get a clear explanation, a way to examine the idea, exact evidence from public-domain Stoic texts, and links for continuing the study.
The Nature of Pity
Pity, whether directed at oneself or received from others, is often based on external circumstances like poverty, lack of office, disease, or death. These are not considered evils in themselves from a Stoic viewpoint.
The true concern should be whether one is living according to reason and virtue, not whether others perceive one's situation as pitiable. Our faults, not our misfortunes, are the proper objects of concern.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 4.6
Distinguishing True Evils
Stoicism teaches that the only true evils are those that stem from a failure of our rational faculty, such as acting gluttonously, lewdly, or contentiously. These actions diminish our humanity.
External events, though they may cause discomfort, are indifferent. They do not inherently make us good or bad, nor do they justify a descent into self-pity or irrational behavior.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 2.9
Maintaining Rationality
To fulfill the promise of a human's nature is to act as a rational and mortal being. This means avoiding behaviors that are characteristic of wild beasts or sheep, which lack reason.
When we act rashly, inconsiderately, or passionately, we lose our rational faculty. This is a greater loss than any external misfortune, as it compromises our essential human character.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 2.9
The Role of Choice
Our response to external events is always within our power. We can choose to view circumstances as opportunities for virtue or as reasons for self-pity. The choice defines our experience.
The Stoic perspective emphasizes that our inner state and moral character are paramount. These are the only things truly within our control and the only things that can be genuinely good or bad.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 4.6
Avoiding Undeserved Pity
If one does not require pity, it is possible to show others this by demonstrating resilience and a rational approach to life's challenges. This can deter others from pitying you.
The goal is not to avoid pity for the sake of appearances, but to genuinely embody a state where pity is unwarranted because one's inner disposition remains unperturbed by externals.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 4.6
Virtue as the Chief Good
The Stoic view holds that virtue alone is good. If one possesses virtue, one wants nothing more, as all desirable things are contained within this chief good.
Self-pity arises from a perceived lack of external goods, but true good is internal. Focusing on virtue means recognizing that external circumstances do not diminish our inherent worth.
Sources: Cicero, On Ends 4.17
What the primary texts say
These excerpts keep their work and exact locator so you can check the claim in context rather than accepting a detached quotation.
““I am grieved,” a man says, “at being pitied.” Whether then is the fact of your being pitied a thing which concerns you or those who pity you? Well, is it in your power to stop this pity?—“It is in my power, if I show them that I do not require pity.””
“It is no common (easy) thing to do this only: to fulfil the promise of a man’s nature. For what is a man? The answer is: a rational and mortal being.”
“For virtue ought not to have been stated to consist in selection, so that that very thing which was itself the chief good, was to acquire something besides itself; for all things which are to be taken, or chosen, or desired, ought to exist in the chief good, so that he who has attained that may want nothing more.”
Frequently asked questions
How does Stoicism define self-pity?
Stoicism views self-pity as an irrational response to external events, which are indifferent. It arises when one mistakenly believes that external misfortunes are true evils, rather than focusing on one's internal state and rational choices.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 4.6
Why is it important to avoid self-pity?
Avoiding self-pity is crucial because it distracts from what is truly good: virtue and the rational faculty. Indulging in self-pity means failing to fulfill one's nature as a rational being and can lead to behaviors characteristic of irrational animals.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 2.9
Can external circumstances justify self-pity?
From a Stoic perspective, external circumstances like poverty, illness, or lack of status do not justify self-pity. These are not true evils. The only true evils are moral failings that compromise one's rational nature.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 4.6
What is the Stoic alternative to self-pity?
The Stoic alternative is to focus on what is within one's control: one's judgments and actions. By cultivating virtue and maintaining rationality, one can demonstrate that external misfortunes do not diminish one's inner worth or require pity.
Sources: Cicero, On Ends 4.17; Epictetus, Discourses 4.6
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- How can I distinguish between a genuine hardship and an irrational feeling of self-pity?
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- What does it mean to fulfill the promise of a human's nature in daily life?