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A Stoic Guide to Welcoming Criticism
Criticism can be a challenging experience, often provoking strong emotional responses. However, Stoic philosophy offers a framework for understanding and responding to criticism in a way that promotes personal growth and inner tranquility. This guide explores how to evaluate feedback, distinguish between external events and internal opinions, and focus on what truly lies within your power to change. By applying these principles, you can transform criticism from a source of disturbance into an opportunity for self-improvement.
On this page you will get a clear explanation, a way to examine the idea, exact evidence from public-domain Stoic texts, and links for continuing the study.
Distinguish Between Events and Opinions
The Stoics teach that our disturbance does not come from external events themselves, but from our judgments and opinions about those events. When someone criticizes you, the words spoken are an external event.
Your reaction to the criticism, whether it be vexation or anger, stems from your internal opinion about what was said. Recognizing this distinction is the first step toward managing your response.
Sources: Epictetus, Enchiridion 5
Examine the Source of Your Distress
If you find yourself disturbed or grieved by criticism, the Stoic approach directs you to look inward. Instead of blaming the person who offered the criticism, examine your own opinions and judgments.
It is a sign of an uninstructed person to blame others for their own unhappiness. A person beginning instruction starts to blame themselves, while a fully instructed person blames neither themselves nor others.
Sources: Epictetus, Enchiridion 5
Consider the Critic's Perspective
When faced with criticism, consider the perspective of the person offering it. Their actions, even if they seem unseemly, might be consistent with their own understanding or partisanship.
If a governor shows partisanship, it is not unexpected that others might follow suit. Understanding this can help you see their criticism as a reflection of their own views, rather than a direct attack.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 3.4
Evaluate the Truth of the Criticism
After separating the event from your opinion, and considering the critic's perspective, objectively evaluate the truth of the criticism. Is there any validity to what is being said about your actions or character?
If the criticism points to something you have done that is not right, then the appropriate response is to correct your actions, rather than to become angry at the critic.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 3.4
Focus on What is Within Your Control
The Stoic practice emphasizes focusing only on what is within your control. You cannot control what others say or think about you, but you can control your own actions and reactions.
If you are criticized for something you did, and it was indeed wrong, then your control lies in choosing to act differently in the future. This aligns with acting conformably to nature.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 1.26
Apply Principles to Life's Matters
Philosophers first train us in theory, which is easier, and then lead us to more difficult things. In theory, there is nothing to distract us from what is taught, but in life, many things can pull us away.
Applying Stoic principles to criticism is a practical exercise in living conformably to nature. It requires consistent effort to observe what is natural and to avoid admitting contradictions in our actions.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 1.26
What the primary texts say
These excerpts keep their work and exact locator so you can check the claim in context rather than accepting a detached quotation.
“Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things: for example, death is nothing terrible, for if it were, it would have seemed so to Socrates; for the opinion about death, that it is terrible, is the terrible thing.”
“It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself.”
“First then philosophers exercise us in theory (contemplation of things), which is easier; and then next they lead us to the more difficult things; for in theory, there is nothing which draws us away from following what is taught; but in the matters of life, many are the things which…”
Frequently asked questions
Why do Stoics say I shouldn't blame others for my feelings?
Stoics believe that our feelings of disturbance or grief come from our own opinions about events, not the events themselves. Blaming others is a sign of being uninstructed in this principle.
Sources: Epictetus, Enchiridion 5
How can I manage my anger when someone criticizes me?
Your anger arises from your opinion that the criticism is terrible. By changing this opinion and examining the truth of the criticism, you can manage your anger. (epictetus-enchiridion-5, epictetus-discourses-3-4)
Sources: Epictetus, Enchiridion 5; Epictetus, Discourses 3.4
Should I always accept criticism as true?
Not necessarily. First, distinguish the criticism from your reaction. Then, objectively evaluate its truth. If it points to a wrong action, correct it; if not, let it pass.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 3.4
What does it mean to act 'conformably to nature' when dealing with criticism?
Acting conformably to nature means responding to criticism by focusing on what is right and within your control, such as correcting your own actions if the criticism is valid.
Sources: Epictetus, Discourses 1.26
Continue with Ask Stoics
Bring one of these source-grounded questions into the app:
- How can I practice distinguishing between events and my opinions about them?
- What specific steps can I take to examine my own opinions when I feel disturbed by criticism?
- How do I apply the principle of focusing on what's in my control when someone is unfairly critical?
- Can you give me an example of how to evaluate the truth of criticism without becoming defensive?